CupcakeKay's Blog

Archive for the ‘Planning’ Category

You would think that someone who refers to herself as Cupcake would be totally on top of the wedding cake, if nothing else. But it’s actually the last big thing that we haven’t done.

Well, we have a baker. Maybe. She gave me a quote some time ago, and well, I’ve never gotten back to her.

Mr. Cake and I picked flavors. His is crazy and complicated. Mine is pretty simple. We’ll see if the baker takes one look at what he wants and runs screaming into the night.

We know we want cupcakes. Originally, I wanted to bake them myself. But a million people told me I wouldn’t have time, and even though I know this to be untrue (I’ve baked around 200 cupcakes for a charity ball we throw for the past three years. It’s no biggie), I gave in to the pressure to pay someone else to bake the cupcakes. On the one hand, I’m glad to have one more task off my plate. On the other, I can’t help but fantasize about all the compliments I would receive if I baked my own wedding cupcakes and they were fabulous (as, of course, they would be). But whatevs.

My mom is supposed to be meeting with the cake lady soon…because on top of everything else, Mr. Cake and I are moving this weekend, and I just started a new job. And my old job has not found my replacement yet, so I’m still working it, too. That’s right, I’m moving and working three jobs a month before my wedding. Crazy, right?

Well, if everything goes according to plan, here’s what we’ll have: two types of cupcakes, one red velvet with Grand Marnier filling and Frangelico-scented cream cheese frosting, and one white with key lime filling and vanilla buttercream frosting. The red velvet ones will have B’s on them, and the white will have K’s. They should look something like one or several of these examples:

There will be a small cutting cake on the top of our cupcake tree (, and it will have bride and groom PEZ dispensers as toppers.

So there’s that. It’s all planned out in my head, obviously, but we’ve yet to see if the cake lady can bring it to fruition. Keep your fingers crossed for me.


We had the appointment set up to go fill out the paperwork and pay for the venue on Sunday. The day before, Mom Cake called and said that the venue we had picked wasn’t “special” enough, and she thought we should keep looking. Since we needed her to write the check, that was pretty much that.

Rather than reiterate my frustrations with the amount of control my mother insists on exerting over this entire affair, I will vent my frustrations on a completely different topic: the Wedding Industrial Complex (WIC).

If this term is confusing to you, I highly suggest you check out Meg’s excellent explanation on her blog:

As I (begrudgingly) continue my venue search, I am shocked an appalled at what some places charge for what is essentially a big, empty room. OK, some of them will set up the tables and chairs for you. If you estimate two minimum-wage custodial persons take a whole hour to do this, that should add, at most, $15 to the amount they charge. Seriously. And some have events coordinators who work with you. Sure, tack on another couple hundred for that. But still.

Is there any reason for the Harn Homestead, a mostly-outdoor museum on original Oklahoma Land Run property with an un-air-conditioned “Event Barn”, to charge $3500 to rent the place?

Yes, you heard me right: $3500.

That’s before we even start thinking about food, booze, and all that.  It’s also startlingly close to my entire wedding budget. Argh!

In light of that, the rustic lake cabin is looking PLENTY special. Heck, it’s air-conditioned!

Not only are the excesses of the WIC frustrating from a budgetary stand-point, but they also point to how seriously effed up our society’s attitudes toward weddings are. The average American wedding costs $20,000 these days.

To put that in perspective, that’s a) about what I make in an entire year (yeah, I know I’m poor), and b) as much as two years’ tuition at the private liberal arts college where I got my B.A.

(Those two facts placed side by side are really making me wonder at the cost-effectiveness of my degree, but that’s a different blog…)

This means that a) I could live for a year on what the average wedding costs. Food, rent, bills, etc. for an entire year, or a party for one night. Or b) you could get half a college degree from a fairly prestigious university, or a party for one night.

Those are some effed up priorities right there.

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Tuesday night, Mr. Cake, Mom Cake, and I looked at two more venues.

The first place cost an arm and a leg and had a huge, stuffed dead elk on the wall above where we’d be getting married. Ruled out.

Then we went to see a lake cabin in Mr. Cake’s hometown. It’s pretty plain, but we could have the ceremony outside with the lake in the background, which would be gorgeous. The inside has plenty of room for tables and a dance floor, a full kitchen, and a bar. And the best part is they don’t give a crap what vendors you use, how you decorate, or anything else, as long as you clean the place up afterward. Actually, if you don’t care about forfeiting your $200 cleaning deposit, you don’t even have to do that! It’s within budget, too, which pretty much makes it perfect. We’re all trooping back out there tomorrow to put the deposit down and fill out the paperwork. Woo-hoo!

Best of all, Mom was on her very best behavior the entire time (I was picturing some nightmare scenario where she tries to argue with Mr. Cake about his family tartan kilt clashing with the carpets or something equally frightful), and she even said some very nice “Welcome to the family, son” type things to Mr. Cake at dinner afterward. Could it be that she’s finally getting with the program? We’ll keep our fingers crossed.

I’m so excited to have a venue! Mr. Cake and I are meeting with a caterer tomorrow, too. Things are progressing quite nicely.

Past Glories