CupcakeKay's Blog

First things first

Posted on: October 19, 2010

Mr. Cake did not propose to me. He had one all planned out and was even in cahoots with some of my friends to make it happen, but we ended up just discussing getting married and deciding together to go ahead and do it.

I think this is really better than a proposal, actually. First of all, a proposal is one-sided. It is up to the man to decide when the couple is ready to get married and act on it. The woman just gets to sit around and wait (and in some cases, track the progress of the engagement ring through the house as he moves it from hiding place to hiding place). Second, if she’s not eagerly awaiting the proposal, it may surprise her into making a snap decision she’s not really ready for. On the other hand, in a discussion, each partner has time to think about what we s/he really wants and consider the decision. They are on equal footing, and they can truly make the decision that is right for them, both individually and as a couple.

Do I kind of wish I’d waited for the big, romantic, public proposal in February? I’m not gonna lie: yes. The dream proposal still looms large in my fantasies, and let me tell you, he had a doozy planned. But this way, I get to marry him way sooner, and we get to start our lives together sooner.

I like it that we have the kind of relationship where we can just bring up marriage on a Tuesday afternoon and start talking, openly and honestly, about it. That we make decisions together. That we’re so excited to marry each other that we couldn’t wait til the official proposal we both knew was coming (Mr. Cake is really bad at keeping secrets).

So that’s the story of how we decided to get married, sans proposal.

Funny post-script: The following weekend, I bought myself a big, fake engagement ring to wear until he picks out and buys the real one. It’s already turning my finger green. 😀


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